even on the subway they post signs saying
stay back from the platform so
you don't die before
your time
and i wonder
does the MTA have a secret database somewhere
with pre-assigned death dates because
i wouldn't put it past them

maybe one of my biggest challenges
is taking everything at
face value but
of course i have to ask
what is the alternative

if you just read something literally
without overloading your
working memory and without
building up too much attention residue
then maybe nothing is surprising

here's the hitch though
about the face value thing
which is
i do not like surprises and
i pretend that
nothing will ever surprise me

as if a line break can be
punctuation when
you've never even heard me
say something out loud
Maya Angelou said you only write poetry
to read it out loud

but it's easier to read a caption on
instagram on
the train run by
those same people who post weird signs about
"your time"

it's not really a scientific approach but i
still look for - or at least keep myself
open to

signs signifying forks in the road
sign posts that help me keep up the pretense
that nothing can surprise me
even though
sometimes i cry

one example - just a few days ago
sat at a picnic table
i was running my mouth
trying too hard to be funny
to be that goldilocks combination of
specifi c but hazy
relatable but just out of reach when
a bird shat
on my favorite shirt

two roads diverged at battery park
for reasons i still can't explain
i forked left and decided to
decide
to stop talking

there’s a chance
years and years from now
when i’m video calling with my artifi cially intelligent twin in another
multiverse we’ll
sigh
and know that shutting up
made all the difference

p.s. - a little bird told me they hope the MTA does actually have a secret death database, hidden in a warehouse somewhere on Belmont or North Brother Island, because then death would be late, and maybe never come at all